Book: Futility of passion
Author: Fahd Bin Mohammed Al Hajri
FUTILITY OF PASSIONFutility of Passion
The most important dialogues which may be held acquire a great deal of their importance from their persons and subjects and the harmony surrounding this dialogue. Then, the human soul reveals the best of its hidden contents.
It was a dinner surrounded by
splendor in all sides, but what emulated all this splendor was this dialogue which was being managed around this table. This was at one of the beautiful nights when I was with my best friend.
My friend said in his speech about life and the outcome of its experiences: What is the secret behind the successiveness of shocks and crises and the amount of their density on certain humans rather than others? Then he replied: I may have realized the wisdom of all this which is to get acquainted with God and to be closer to Him.
My friend’s reply made me curious and I agreed about what he said, but I said: Don’t you see that you are talking about the result here? But I wanted to show you the reason behind all this which is the futility of passion in our souls to a great extent. The matter is here related to the law of cause and effect.
And what life experiences may decide with its strict law is that emotions cannot be controlled unless storms blow. It is fate which puts an end to all this futility.
Why Futility of Passion?
My answer is preceded by a reply to another question which is what is passion? Passion is the safe shelter of emotions, desires and feelings stability. And it is the basic instrument of the awakening of human soul.
There are two main reasons which urged me to write about this idea; firstly you are still alive, so you should live life as it should be. Secondly, we should reach the places of dignity by our emotions.
Since we are talking here about passion, so I ask the body to excuse me this time, for the speech is not directed to it.
The most horrid form of the futility of our passions may be the loss of our identity.
The recognition that you live in emotional futility is the first step of change.
Control your emotions according to a plan and the first step is to ask God for help, so Trust in God is the splendid part in our souls.
You may live in a very frustrated environment difficult to overcome except by a solid passion.
Sometimes it is your fate to be in an emotional environment. This imposes an additional effort in the step of change.
You have a real thing deserves to exert an effort for which is your passion. Then we cannot make a progress since we are lazy in dealing with this matter.
Handle your wounded passion tenderly and tell it that hope is waiting for it on the way.
We have been repeating for years that the reason of our pains and slips are from others but what I meant in showing the issue of the futility of passion is to make our emotions bear this responsibility.
We have to realize very well that the change about which we are talking regarding our passion requires a great deal of courage and will in order to defeat our futile passion. Or the other option which is nothing of all this and you have to accept life as it is, since then there is a close link between your comfort and the moment you pass away.
What we are demanding will expose our stability and tranquility to some losses in our lives for a period of time because what we are seeking is worthwhile.
Your treatment of your emotions and the effort toward them is a devotional work
In our speech about the futility of passion, we should not lose confidence in its essence but what we wanted from this is to correct its path.
The real bitterness is to be aware of the fact of what is going on concerning the futility of your passion, and you are still continuing this futility.
Perhaps you may notice here that what was mentioned of emotional facts regards you and no one else is responsible for it. This futility made by your own hands.
Some forms of futility
Reprimand of passion:
In our way of change toward stripping our emotions off their impurities, your passion becomes compassionate and tells you that you became tough in dealing with others. Don’t ever pay attention to this reprimand as it is part of your futile passion, but be sure that the other part of your passion is happy because it is on its new way.
Many people believe that extravagance which our Lord commanded us to avoid is limited to what is significant, while the truth is quite otherwise; there is a broader concept that includes the spiritual extravagance which includes dissipation of passion.
Ali Ibn Abi Talib – May God be pleased with him- said: (Love your lover in limited way because you may hate him one day, and hate the one you detest in limited way because he may be your lover one day).
Because you are a loving heart you want to give all you can, you want to save people from their crises, and this is a good thing, but our intention here is more than energy and more than you can, then you fall into the trap. Since you pray “lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear”, how do you burden yourself of what it cannot afford.. ?!
Trap of change
“It is true thou wilt not be able to guide everyone, whom thou lovest; but Allah guides those whom He will.”
“So let not thy soul go out in (vainly) sighing after them.”
“Therefore do thou give admonition, for thou art one to admonish. Thou art not one to manage (men’s) affairs.”
“Thou wouldst only, perchance, fret thyself to death, following after them, in grief, if they believe not in this Message.”
I tracked a number of religious texts, and i found them send us one message which is: to calm down; what the Creator means is to maintain this self and this passion, and save it from any harm. What I wish to point out here is that love of good for people should not be a cause of pain even though the most powerful justifications that can be made.
In my opinion, the rescue from this trap is in the transition from a circle of change to the circle of influence. And life experiences have proved that the effect is stronger than the change, the change is based on pressure and compulsion but influence is based on conviction and choice.
My book was my companion
It provided me with strength silently and gave me wisdom and provided me with models were able to overcome their pains in the most difficult circumstances. It was perhaps a way that comforts me in a way I may not have felt completely as I do now until I made headway in life, then I realized its great impact on the success of my character to an unimaginable extent.
Even while I am talking about it now, I feel I don’t fulfill its right, and I still owe it a lot and a lot. It still inspires me with ideas that I could not know by myself and what I may reveal here. I did not know that part of me lived the futility of passion till knowledge waked me up to this reality, so thank you my book.
As recognition of the role of the book and a celebration of it, I present some books which accompanied me in my way.
Codependent no More by Melody Beattie
In this book she talks about two main issues; relief of pain and regain control in our lives.
She talked about human relations and suggests the concept of setting boundaries between humans.
She says “some people are fortunate enough to emerge in adulthood knowing who they are, and what their rights are and aren’t. They don’t trespass on other people’s territory, and they don’t allow others to invade theirs. They have healthy boundaries and a solid sense of self.”
She also says in other part “setting boundaries is about learning how to take care of ourselves. Boundaries emerge from deep decisions about what we believe we deserve and don’t deserve.”
She asserted that “anger, rage, complaining and whining are clues to boundaries we need to set. The thing we say we can’t stand, don’t like, feel angry about, and hate may be areas screaming for boundaries.”
Finally, I conclude with her idea about the goal of setting boundaries. She says, “The goal of setting boundaries is the acquisition of adequate safety and a sense of self, so we can get closer to others, without the threat of losing ourselves, or violating our rights. Boundaries are the way to friendly relations.”
Finding your strength in difficult times by David Viscott
He mentioned some concepts which I will state them in brief:
When you restraint your emotions, it just increases your chances to be exposed to pain.
Respect your feelings to be free to be yourself.
Tears in the right place cure wounds.
Your silence strengths the evil you face.
Don’t expect others to understand or agree with you.
What people think of you is not your business. People’s opinions are usually related to their feelings toward themselves more than their feelings toward you.
Whenever you try to please others, you make their feelings more important than yours.
If you postponed your happiness and set forth the happiness of others, you will be disappointed with their reactions.
Conditional love is rejected, for it means to control you.
Your choice of how others live their lives while yours is a mess is regrettable.
The suffering in the end is just a choice.
You don’t need excuses or justifications to be yourself.
The best way to be ready for death is to find yourself
Be bias to yourself a little.
I heard some of them, read the other parts and declared others.
- I am no longer shocked by any situation; I think I have identified part of the human nature.
- My motto is “My life is no longer in vain for a later day”.
- It is too late; your approach to me now became dull.
- Don’t blame me for people’s behaviors, but blame me for mine.
- My problem is that my instinct can not say (no).
- I have the right to live the rest of my days quietly.
- This confusing situation is no longer part of my life.
- Purify our hearts with your ungratefulness.
- Reduce your standards, sensitive.
- ( )
This area is made for you to put your statement.
So Tomorrow is a new day, fiddler.
I want to refer here that relaxation should match the amount of pain you have faced, and then you can live happy moments in your life because it is a gift from God, so let’s be happy to live with it. Then take a heavenly moment to thank the Benefactor for all these positive steps in your life. Without Him nothing worth mentioned could be achieved.
O Lord, My words cannot express my hidden contents. I present my soul which is full of the meanings of perfection, gratitude and the power of love to you, Almighty.
May God help you in your new world
The Big Achievement
When I was young man, trends were following me every where in every discussion. The days of high school were the most difficult; they were the days of doubt, confusion, loss and deflection between positivistic schools. These schools captured me and I was inspired by the great thinkers of the world. I have been influenced by the German thought for along time even though I read in English since I was a kid, but English translations of Goethe, Tischler, Nietzsche and Rilke caught my heart.
This thought swept me away from the soul connected to heaven where belief is everything and faith is the sun which shines from a distance. I was no longer reading the great books of religious culture in Exegesis, Jurisprudence, Tradition and Arabic literature which I used to read till I fell asleep..
Then I left prayers.
MY Arabic teacher, God rest his soul, was a religious and wise man from Gaza, and he preferred me for my liking of reading and my prominence in language. Then our friendship strengthened till existential thoughts took me away and this was my first pitfall toward all philosophies. He stood against this tendency and warned my many times. He told me: you are not old enough to judge the world neither the knowledge of your nation nor those of others… but I persisted and felt that a vivid wave took me far away leaving all seas of darkness behind. In my new material way I was infatuated by myself and I was looking at him in arrogance and obstinacy…
“Why do you no longer pray?”, asked my teacher sharply. I told him: does prayer change the world? Then he told me an answer which turned my mind upside down and dislocated myself which I thought it was solid; he said: yes, prayer doesn’t change the world, but it changes us then we change the world. However, I resisted the impact of this stunning statement on me and I went on my deviation.
Years have passed and I returned home where there is no place for argument about praying and in the mosque too. My father made his exist from the mosque a permanent habit. My mother used to wake me up before Azan (prayer call in Islam) and I persuaded myself and I resumed my prayers, but my arrogance was still inside me.
… I felt ill one day and the doctor told me: I am sorry, you are going to die after 9 months, Naguib. I was in the coastal city of Tacoma in America. I went to a green hill alone. I saw the vast tremendous ocean in front of me. There was nothing but me, sky, water, death and life. I asked my self: can I change anything? I contemplated with tears in my eyes covering the wideness of the ocean and suddenly this statement jumped into my head: prayer changes us and we change the world. I went back quickly to the place where I stayed and sent my teacher a telegram of this statement without introductions or conclusions. He answered me : ” God has regained you . Live in peace”.
The greatest prayer which restored my senses was on the Atlantic coast in Tacoma and I realized that God is true and I knew the meaning of truth and its infinite meaning in Heaven not on earth.
And I didn’t die till now.
This was part of an essay written by Naguib Alzmal entitled (The Day I Left Prayer).It was published in several Medias and it caught my interest. I thought it could be very appropriate to put it in my introduction about the big achievement.
First I say:
What a wonderful teacher!
And what a lucky student!
What I mean of the big achievement is prayer of course. I shall not talk about legitimate knowledge, but a feeling I enjoy.
I intended to write about this idea when I am in the place I supposed to be to revive life in it.
One of the most important gifts you can give to yourself is to be faithful in your prayer.
I feel that my life is changing and transcending whenever I pray, and my feeling became unprecedented. People here differ in their evaluation of achievement around them. But true achievements are considered to be your fundamental duties.
Sometimes I blame myself for doing nothing in my day. When I remember prayer structure, my self calms down and my soul feels inner peace.
All the legitimate teachings we have were imposed on earth except for prayer which came from heaven. This gives it highness and superiority and this how it should be in our souls, our minds and our senses.
False achievements are those things that some people may consider as the achievements of their lives while they skipped prayers. On the other hand, prayer is patience, consolation and hope in life struggles.
The only place where you don’t hear noise is your mihrab (niche). It gives you life and a true vision of what is surrounding you. One prostration may equal a whole age. And you may feel what you have never felt for long years.
It is very bad that man shall be concerned with all things around him while prayer doesn’t mean anything to him.
What situation is this…?
***Prayer with love
You won’t feel the deepness of religious duties unless you love them. Any worship done without love won’t be fruitful. The story here is related to God’s love who gave everything. Then, everything changes.
My prayer… I do remember you with great gratitude
you gave me hope in the face of pain
you gave me peace of mind in the face of fear
And you gave me pride in the face of humiliation
I feel that I shall be delighted to conclude with Mr. Elghzawy’s law:
(Prayer doesn’t change the world. Prayer changes us and we change the world.)
My definition of freedom day: It is that day when you scream out and say you won’t accept this situation anymore. Let me be honest with you that reaching that day needs a very long way of work you have to do toward yourself. Then as a start you have to be free and charge your mind and soul, and every atom of your entity’s molecules with the feelings of human dignity and that you are human being deserves respect, appreciation and highness and to feel that this honor is divine “and We have honored the sons of Adam” and in my opinion, all religions promotes dignity for the benefit of humanity.
Therefore, the story of dignity starts from you and ends with you. Then you will have the will to change things for better. So let me congratulate you all of my heart because in doing this you have gone so far in your long way.
And who told you life is height…
Not alive those who accept life in the lowest
Ideas could lead to freedom
Freedom is an instinctive right of every human being. It is the social atmosphere which decides whether freedom remains or vanishes. If conditions worsened, each one of us must consider it an acquired right.
The greatest methods of resistance are those in harmony with your nature and the origin of your configuration and this leads us to stress that each of us has his own way to gain freedom. I have read some of liberal autobiographies and I found a clear difference btween each of them in gaining their freedom.
Human reality today is lamentable; the one who has weakness is lost and the one who cannot resist this reality shall pay a lot for this approach.
Who insults can be easily insulted…
Wound in dead does not hurt
Nothing destroys humanitarian entity as slavery does by its tyrant followers. It is a paradox calls for wonder; yesterday we rejoice at the birth of a new human being, and today we are working hard to strip his freedom and his right to live in dignity. I think that the wise saying by Omar Ibn Alkhtab- may God be pleased with him- is relevant here: he said “when did you enslave people while they were born free.”
(Humiliation – oppression – Smashing – insult)
These are the colors of unjust human behavior practiced by others with boldness and daring.
(Fear – Uncertainty – weakness – confusion)
These are the colors of submissive human behavior and those who have allowed themselves to exercise it with bitterness and pain. I believe that there is no freedom of these qualities, and that our problem in this world, as summed up by one of the wise men, is between confident dictators and good people full of doubt, and in the proverb (no life for those who sleep with fear)
- The bitter days we live are the surest way to freedom. Pressure, tension and pain are the the first engine to rise up with ourselves. Our God then teaches us to take advantage of even the worst conditions; “But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.”
- The bitter days we live are the surest way to freedom. Pressure, tension and pain are the the first engine to rise up with ourselves. Our God then teaches us to take advantage of even the worst conditions; “But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.”
Then we have to turn from “why me” to “here I am”
Morning is your father and son…
Bless that father and that son
The Power of soul is the first supporter of the strength of your resistance. The great know it well, and they also know that the only way to get this power is from God; it gives you the enormous emotional power of victory. Even one may wonder:
- How could I resist with all this courage?
- How could I do it?
I didn’t expect I could do it.
I was watching a TV show few days ago and it was an exciting interview between a psychotherapist and a school student who was exposed to constant attack with the cruelest methods of humiliation and destruction, and has been silent about all this violence. This psychotherapist sat for a long time listening to the student and the anger he felt. Then he told him: “Don’t worry; we will learn together how to scream to ratify all the pain that you experience. You have to be brave, and he asked him to scream out loud “this is enough” .The boy said it in a whisper, and every time he asked him to raise his voice. I watched with interest all the details of that interview until the decisive moment came for the angry boy; he cried out loudly so that his face features disappeared from the power of his cry. Then the therapist answered him in wondrous calmness: Yes this is what you need to do tomorrow.
Some people can easily shout and say (enough) while others find it the most difficult thing ever. But here I assure that gross life situations will urge you to scream out unwillingly. I remember words said by Alice Walker in her book “Overcoming Speechlessness” where she said: “Self-imposed silence has slowed our response to the plight of those who most need us”
Knowledge is the road to freedom
I believe now firmly that culture, science and knowledge are the first threshold of freedom, and I shortened the time for many people to get abundant amount of knowledge about the secrets and mysteries of human souls.
I write to you about the importance of knowledge holding “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene in my right hand; he talked about human nature openly and transparently. There is also in front of me “Long Walk to Freedom” by the famous African activist, Nelson Mandela. In his book, he talks about how he was able to garb freedom from blind racism for him and his people in his country. I recite part of his words: “”I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”
No Hero without a wound
The beauty and magnificence of life is worth nothing if you were not free. Who wants to be free, he should adopt the slogan of “life with respect” and to work hard to achieve this slogan, but you have to remember very well that the road to freedom is fraught with danger, pain and wounds. You have to overcome all obstacles to be closer to what you want, and then you will be surprised with how people accept you after victory, and as in the Portuguese proverb: “No Hero without a wound”.
I conclude “Freedom Day” article with feelings of freedom. Many thanks for those who teach me the meaning of freedom because who tastes freedom one day won’t waive it for a life time.
One of the best quotes of Christopher Morley is “there is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.”
Friendship with Self
( Whatever my enemies can do to me I have my garden and heaven in my chest wherever I go , my imprisonment is solitude , my murder is martyrdom and getting me out of my country is tourism.)
How could you endure this torture, Bilal?
He said: I mixed the bitterness of torture with the sweetness of faith, so the sweetness of faith prevailed.
Those two examples and many others have lived the psychological peace in its finest form; happiness and amiability were always with them, so whatever they witnessed of sorrows and tragedies became easy for them.
Today we are in great need to search actively for peace of mind and self, particularly in this era in which souls have lost their identities and consequently they lost the meaning of life.
Which Team are you?!
Don’t you see that the distances between our selves and our souls are extremely wide and the reality with our souls is not encouraging; one team are hostile to themselves as they keep complaining and whining after drowning themselves in the seas of sins. We usually hear statements like (I hate myself- I am fed up with myself).
The question here is why are we mad at ourselves?
The second team neglect themselves as they have no idea about their value and highness. They don’t know that they have a precious treasure called soul that beats lively.
The question is to what extent can human beings neglect their souls?
If you do not know the value of your soul,
People can easily humiliate you
The third teams are different type. They are very few, but still they exist; their souls flew high to space and turned away from secular temptations into heavenly benefits.
O determined on friendship …
Briefly you will not be able to find the perfect happiness and satisfaction because of God’s wisdom. Many of us had future plans, commercial projects, or social friendships and we set goals and future aspirations over soul and peace of mind. Therefore, God the Wise and Omniscient wanted to fix our affairs to the best; He determined shortbread in everything in order to prevent attachment to anything. That’s what Imam Ibn Algozy assured in his wonderful book, “Mind Hunting”; he said:
(I found myself feel comfortable with intruders whom we call friends, but when experiences searched for them found that most of them are envious of blessings and enemies who can’t keep secrets, know nothing about the ethics of companionship and never condole a friend with money. Thus I contemplated and found when God Almighty is keen on the believer’s heart; He disturbs the world and its people around him in order to make God the only companion.)
O Beautiful Soul Holder…
Self friendship is considered to be a protective shield from outside attacks. The moment you feel that others around you are trying to weave yarns of trouble around you or throw nets of grief on you, you have to leave them for awhile in order not to lose happiness with your beautiful soul with which you became friends beforehand.
Only then you will be capable of accepting the excesses of others and putting things in their right place and consequently tension and pressure shall decrease. I always contemplate The Chinese proverb: “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.”
We have many people around us, but we don’t know which one is useful; people are ideas and visions, and God facilitates things for each one of us for the purpose of his creation. Thus, we shouldn’t hold great hopes on them. By this realistic view and away from idealism, we made peace firstly with ourselves and secondly with others.
Sheikh Ali AlTantawy said in his book, “images and thoughts”:
( I was like all other people scared of loneliness ,felt its heaviness and tried to escape from it… till I found in solitude a way to observe God and I feel that He is with me hearing and watching and I pray from my heart and tongue asking him about everything . I believe that everything is on His own hands and if He does not give me what I asked for, He gives me better than I already asked. Thus prayer in this approach is worship as it is in the correct Tradition; I became alone even though I am indulged with people.)
Yes… That is friendship which means to be alone even though you are indulged with them!!
O brave decision makers…
Are we ready to be friends with ourselves once again?
Beauty of word
tiful description and a title when he called him to the honor stage. I noticed that everyone listened to those beautiful descriptions and became happy with them more than the prize itself. I wondered, what is the secret that made everyone with no exceptions live this state of happiness and pleasure?! . After meditation I realized the hidden secret which is the sense of the beauty of word!
This situation touched something inside me which I wanted to talk about for along time; many people have lost the sense of the beauty of word. I am not talking haphazardly here because if you took an overview on a large segment of people, you will find out that many people live a state of incompatibility between their tongues and their beautiful words. The reality of word today witnesses a huge amount of verbal abuses and violations. They say: “as much as your words are reckless, you will be prestigious”; while they forgot the golden rule (Good word is charity). Therefore, all cultures have agreed to reject harsh words just as their agreement on the beautiful words.
Let us be frank with ourselves we are witnessing a word crisis on all various levels in this age, and those who are distinguished by the sense of beauty became very few in this life.
Sense of Beauty
Depart from this introduction I would say that it is not possible that this reality is a strategic choice of human beings. God created each man with a sense of beauty inside him while the degradation of beauty sense is just an unusual intruder. Thus, the problem here is not genetic as far as it is cultural, and we all know that the cultural problems can be treated by the awakening of awareness and understanding and giving things their importance.
Is there anything in life greater than the awakening of beautiful feelings and emotions?
Hence I say:
- How could I resist with all this courage?
Your relations are production of your words. Dr. Abdulkarim Bakar referred to this meaning; he said “humans are emotional creatures attracted by good word and detested by censure and reprimand.”
Success and excellence are the results of the quality of word not the quantity. The best word creates an atmosphere full of life as we never heard of the survival of the worst “Say to My servants that they should (only) say those things that are best”
Then I have to remind you that “word” is a great divine gift and ancient heritage blessed by God to humans “Have We not made for him a pair of eyes? And a tongue, and a pair of lips?”
Is it worthy to use the most beautiful and splendid words as a recognition of this divine gift?
I convey here an inner feeling I always felt: “my happiness of a beautiful saying is more important for me than anything else. Then I realize that I have added something new to life. We actually live on earth to accept humans for fluency of their beautiful sayings not for their grants.”
I say with unlimited optimism:
We are able to move with our feelings to beauty in order to beat lively again.
Selections from what I read (1)
I read several books and I heard some experiences and proverbs I wanted to share them with my readers.
“Benevolent man does not fell down, and if he does, he finds a supporter”, said Abdullah Ibn-Abas – May God be pleased with him.
“I hate households who spend food can be sufficient for days in one day”, said Abu Bakr AlSedik – May God be pleased with him.
“Remember… successful people don’t drift to the top in one jump”, said Jack Canfield in his book, “The Power of Focus”.
“Knowledge is the power which improves your Intelligence quotient and open your mind up to new prospects”, said Dr. Ibrahim Alfeky in his book, ” Ten Keys to Success”
“Palestine is not a land without people to lodge people without land”, said Ameen Al-Hussainy , the former Mufti of Jerusalem .
“Nothing is more tragic than the death of love except for the death of friendship”, said Dr. Ghazy Al Gusaiby in his poem, “Flying Falcon”.
“I walk slowly, but I never walk backward”. Abraham Lincoln, 16th US President.
“My mother was the making of me.”Thomas Edison
“Good fences make good neighbors”. Dr. Phil
“Nothing Alienates people quite like success”, David Viscott
“To youth I have but three words of counsel-work, work, work”. Bismarck, the German Empire founder.
“To err is human, but to forgive, well that’s right on”. William Shakespeare
“Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” Jim Rohn
” Those who do not work are hurt when others work” Taha Hussein
“No one is weak. He just doesn’t know where to find his strength.” Leo Tolstoy, The Russian novelist.
‘Be like sandalwood perfumes the ax which cuts”. Alsherazy
” Look at people as they are not as they were” Chinese proverb
“The dream that is easy for most people to achieve is not a worthy of respect dream” Dr. Abdullah Al Othman, the director of King Saud University.
“Gratitude is absolutely the way to bring more into your life”. Marci Shimoff. In her book ,” The secret”
“The completion of the simplest and smallest task is not easy.” Raikou Uchida
“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance”. Will Durant
“The party believe in their cause always win” Saleh Al-Taleb, Imam of Shrine.
“If you can be master of yourself once you will continue to do so” Kou Lunyo
“When brothers work together, mountains turn into gold mines”. Dale Carnegie
“Stress progress, not perfection, with your child”. Robert Ramsey in his book ,” 501 Tips to Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem”
“The west is not the reason, Arabs” Mohamed Bin Rashed Al Makatoum in his book, “My Vision”.
Selections from what I read (2)
“Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things”. Bruce Barton
“Successful people in this world are those who get up and look for circumstances they want. If they can’t find them, they make them”. Bernard Shaw
“You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality. Walt Disney
“If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.” Mary Kay Ash
“We may not be saints enough to love our enemies, but for the sake of our own health and happiness, let’s at least forgive and forget them” Confucius, a Chinese philosopher.
“If you don’t want to “sweat the small stuff,” it’s critical that you choose your battles wisely. If you do, there will come a day when you’ll rarely feel the need to do battle at all.” Dr. Richard Carlson’s in his book “Don’t sweat the small stuff”
“Whenever people’s aspirations and their cultural level increase, they became much ready for change.”. Dr. Ali Alhmady
“Success comes to those who dare to act. It seldom goes to the timid who are afraid of the consequences”, Jawaharlal Nehru, First Prime Minister of India.
“It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it “.Somerset Maugham, Irish playwright.
“The more man becomes stupid and lazy, the more he believes he is better than others in everything”. Dr. Ali Alwardy.
“The one who refuses to listen to an advice costs nothing today will pay a lot for it tomorrow”. Plato, Greek Philosopher.
“It is a mistake to limit ourselves to face the challenges in one side of life no matter how important ; law of life will generate new morale and material challenges because it is the nature of life , and our success will depend on our ability to renew ourselves , our goal and our thoughts to overcome each new challenge”. Abdulhadi Al Rasheed
“Not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.” Etienne Jalout
“I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.” Abraham Lincoln
“It is very important to produce ideas, but the most important is to apply them in reality”. Algerian thinker Malik Bin Nabi.
“I was and still see that this world is big enough for all successful people, and I still believe that any success is not achieved unless the failure of others is in reality a defeat wearing victory clothes.” D. Ghazi Al Gosaiby in his book “Life In Management”.
Am I Sensitive or Is He Senseless?
They are two persons tied together by common destiny causes- if true to describe such relation.
The first one is interested in his issues following them up and setting plans and programs to make them succeed while the other one, on the contrary, is totally indifferent and does not achieve anything. Both of them are going through their lives, but the difference is each one lives on his own way.
The first one was complaining a lot about the other’s way of life urging him to work hard on his issues and his business in particular.
He told him: You are sensitive and worries yourself a lot.
Then the first one wonders: Am I sensitive or is he senseless?
Two types of humans
There are two types of humans; one is productive and the other is lazy and unproductive. The matter takes on another aspect as the latter makes you manage his issues and fulfill his work. Here we have to differentiate between two contradictory theories; the theory of (God loves the helpful the most) which we urge and assert on its application and the theory of (satisfaction with others) and in my opinion the latter applies the second theory efficiently.
How much is life full of this type of human!
Her I wonder if they cannot perform their duties and interact with them positively, so why they take new responsibilities in their lives; they have to step down aside and live the rest of their lives in the shade!!
But they have to remember Ahmed Alamiry when he describes those who abandoned their role in life; he says “it is easy to avoid our responsibilities, but we cannot avoid the consequences.”
Hence, I wonder how that negative person looks at himself and his personality; is it a look of tribute and proud of his achievements and successes or it is a look ……??!!
Accordingly all we are talking about is strongly related to the psychological health and the social view of this person.
The positive person lives a state of happiness and delight enjoying an outstanding social view. For him life means building and giving, and optimism is his law which he adopts while the unproductive person lives different kind of pressure and tension ,even if he looks otherwise , particularly when he sees others transferring from one achievement to another ; we are talking here about those who have a normal sensation like all humans.
The community has no mercy on lazy people and gives them no value.
It is really strange and wondrous to find that person interested in others’ business and perform their work accurately because it satisfies his desires and bring happiness and pleasure to him.
The diagnosis of his condition, in my opinion, is that his concept of priorities is not reversed; I think it does not exist at all.
Generally the question still stands:
Am I sensitive? Or is he senseless?
The White Page
Is it possible for our conscience to be pure and white just like this page?
A story of Holy Book
Here I am talking about a personal experience of which I am proud and honor in my life and why not since it is related to the greatest thing in life which is the “Holy Qur’an”.
I narrate it today for two reasons: firstly gratitude and recognition of God’s blessing that He prepared and honored me to serve His Book “and of thy Sustainer’s blessings shalt thou [ever] speak“. Secondly this kind of experience brings new spirit and tells us that we can do something.
How effluent feelings become when we talk about the Book of God!
How much believers are eager to be part of this great work!
Before I conclude this introduction I have decided to call this experience “a story of Holy Book”.
The details of this story started when I received unknown message on my cell phone and it was also sent to several segments of society and the sender was asking us all to cooperate to keep the Book of God through an amazing project whose idea is summarized by “collecting damaged Books from our mosques and schools and anywhere else and restore them and then donate them to those in need at home and abroad.”
I was one of those people who received this message by chance when the story began.
I thought many times to delete this message, but I told myself: what shall harm me if icontacted and asked about this project? Long time passed and every time I check my messages I see ” a story of Holy Book message” and each time I said I would call tmorrow untill the decisive moment came and I decided to choose between two things; whether I call or delete the message and I decided- by the grace of God-to call. The message included contact numbers and when I called, there was a surprise; the one who answered was a woman so I apologized as I thought I dialed the wrong number. She directly told me: Yes, my good brother, you are on the correct number. We are a group of sisters adopted the project of damaged Books and then she told me the details…Her speech was full of enthusiasm, optimism and hope. At the end of the call she told me: can you play this role in your area?
I said: yes, I can do it.
I did not feel then that this call would have a bright history in my life.
The beginning was with two generous friends who were optmistic and interacted with “serving the Book of God”. “We took practical steps to explain the project and show its importance. We then found unprecedented enthusiasm from people as we collectd- with God’s help- thousands of damaged Books; they were covered with dust or in inappropriate places. Here I remember a bright image beats with life telling us that our societies are still full of goodness and they are able to interact with positive ideas seriously and enthusiastically .we receive messages from some people telling that although their negilgence they are ready to serve the Book of God and and to bear part of their resposibilities toward their religion and values.
Hence I tell you: “from now on don’t ever despise any body”.
In my opinion, whatever I talked about this story and tried to portray what was going on, field experiences still have stregnth, presence and effectivence.
To be a happy end of “A story of Holy Qur’an”, I tell you all the good news is that a number of associations and charity institutions became the sponsers of the project and became an essential part of their programs. Thank God whose blessings make good things come true.
Ship of Morality
O Mohammed (God will never disgrace you as you are helpful and good to your kin, welcomes guests , supports oppressed, bears all and helps those who defend rights)
These words are said by Khadija- may God be pleased with her- to the first master of morality, prophet Mohammed –peace be upon him- when he came back home frightened and distressed telling her ( Cover me ..Cover me).
She inferred by her good nature that who has such good morals and high principles, God will never disgrace him.
And today!! Are we apply such morals and deal with them?
The one who thinks of ethics at this time finds lack of many aspects of our behavior and our dealings with each other. This is not a figment of my thoughts or innovations, but it is a bitter reality we have lived and seen and many of us deal with it and have justifications. All people including me are doing so ignoring the educational rule and the creator of humans who created people in good behavior.
According to the reality of the field where I work I feel that the ship of ethics sails in a rough sea whose waves plashed in all sides and we don’t know which direction it goes or on what beach will it anchor?
قراءة صوتية للكلمات
Our real crisis in this age is the crisis of ethics and upbringing.
The exit of this ethical chaos is a serious return to the bases of upbringing (I was sent to complete good morals); the rule which led to generation bearing mature moral values that changed the history and built human being.
There are some references for those who will carry the flag of upbringing and for all of us as well:
First: sincere desire to make reformation (I desire no more than to set things to rights in so far as it lies within my power)
Secondly: science supporting change (Say: “Can they who know and they who do not know be deemed equal?)
Thirdly: continuous work to achieve success (“Work ye, sons of David, with thanks!)
Fourthly: asking God for help (but the achievement of my aim depends on God alone.)
Fifthly: leniency (And it was by God’s grace that thou [O Prophet] didst deal gently with thy followers: for if thou hadst been harsh and hard of heart, they would indeed have broken away from thee)
Let our slogan be building a castle of ethics and the first building block in this construction is written on it in clear handwriting “Start by yourself”.
When I chose this title I thought of that rare love between Prophet Mohammed – peace be upon him- and his companions; when Khabib Ibn Odai – may God be pleased with him- was set to death , he was asked if he prefered to bring Mohammed in his place while he could be safe with his family. He shouted at his murderers (I hate to be safe with my family enjoying all the pleasure in the world and to see the messanger of God hurt). Also Abu Bakr – may God be pleased with him – slept on Mohammed’s thigh in the cave while he was bitten and was in pain but he didn’t move so as not to awaken his beloved- peace be upon him.
I read those stories and thought about them, then I realized the reason behind such love between Prophet Mohammed –PBUH-and his companions; it is unconditional love and this what he has sown in their hearts since they didn’t love him because he promised of temporal pleasure in the world or leadership among nations; they loved him because he elevated their souls to the highest level of faith by which they knew God’s love and worked hard to please Him. For these reason their love for him deserves to be described as “Free Love”.
Today we find that there is a difference in love between the two generations; God’s love of the generation of this age has been weakened and this was reflected on the application of orders and prohibitions as well as the call to Him. And the evidence is the negligence of many of the sons of Islam of the apple of the eye, a pillar of Islam and the crown of worship, “Prayer”.
If you think of the love between Muslims themselves, you will find that many of the meanings of Islam has been weakened and faded which made us all wondering in one voice:
Where are compassion and affection?
Where are brotherhood and harmony?
Where are those beautiful values?
The answer to these questions is that love between us became conditional.
I love you only for ethnic considerations or on the basis of affiliation of thought or for worldly interests. Therefore, we keep others close or move them away on the basis of those fragile rules and consequently we made immature social relationships. By experience when I broke those delusional barriers and dealt with people on the basis of free love, life has changed and it had different color and taste. I found out that people are still good and the extent of attachment or detachment to conditional love decides your happiness in your relationships with others.
Hence, after discussing this phenomenon I wonder are those ailing practices qualifying us to be one nation.
Although we talked about restricted love, it doesn’t mean that there is no sincere love or beautiful meanings among people, but while I am writing these lines, there are bright images that history stands for proudly in the mind of each one of us.
Life for love
We should take those who came before us as a model and example; when Prophet Mohammed called for the wonderful law of love: (man shall love what he doesn’t like only for God’s sake). There was the generation of fraternity between the immigrants and supporters which life smiled to it and history chirped with joy and gladness for it. Let us then say: “All believers are but brethren” and work to achieve it on our life. This will never come true unless we apply the rules of love such as:
- Amicability “and let not our hearts entertain any unworthy thoughts or feelings against [any of] those who have attained to faith. O our Sustainer!”
- Good saying “you shall speak unto all people in a kindly way“.
- Tolerance and forgiveness ( go you are free)
- Express love feelings (O Mo’az , in the name of God I love you).
- Peace-making (bring about peace among you).
- Gift (exchanging gifts brings love).
The manifest of love for people around you is considered to be a love charter. One of God’s blessings is that I met that type of humans; they open their hearts to love them and only those who make life meaningful and really became alife for love.
An idea, who is going to push it forward?
It is a situation I faced days ago; it was a serious conversation concerning one of the projects we determind to establish. I was so enthusiastic to discuss the idea and to clarify its positive aspects and how it is going to be useful for social circles because of the sublimity of the idea and its great benefits. I was talking in front of a group of people interested in social issues. When I finished discussing my ideas, the other party started talking about his idea which is summerized as following: such huge project shall have phases and he assured that the phase of construction hasn’t started yet, then he offered convincing alternatives which could come into force!! The attendants admired his idea and approved it immediately without any hesitaion.
I was sruck a lot by this event which asserts the nessecity of discussing the culture of thinking and its effective role in bringing about change for the life of all human beings.
Mind is God’s gift
Actually few people realize this divine gift and so few who believe in the importance of thinking as a main task of this mind. I think we all agree on reviving this gift and working on our mind to revive it again.
Qur’an is the first book of reflection
The first objective of the Message is intellectual literacy; its primary concern has never been just reaching the literacy of reading and writing. Dr. Mohamed Abda referred to this sense which is clear in many verses where Our Lord called for reflection, meditation, listening, comparison and reasoning.
“Will you not, then, take thought?”, “can you not, then, see?”,
“Will you not, then, use your reason?”, “Do they not consider the Qur’an (with care)?”
I wonder here; all these calls make us move, don’t they?
Don’t they urge us to practise reflection and to reconsider it again??
Venezuela… the country of reflection!!
Here I am talking about Venezuela and its civilization project which has been carried out, where the government persuaded school students to study a subject called (thinking skills) two hours a week and more than one hundred thousand teachers were trained to teach it, then you can imagine the reality of their community after that.
Hence, I frankly say if the initiatives were not official, then at least let it be personal.
Let it be your dream and the project of your life.. Let it be a private conversation with your creative mind and say I could be better off than I am now, only if I knew how to think!
Edward and idea- building
He is one of the specialists in the field of thinking industry. He set courses to teach reflection on BBC channel and thirty seven TV channels in US broadcasted them. He also set a special program about (great thinkers) for the German Television and some European channels broadcasted it. I think this program offered considerable benefits to mankind.
There are two wonderful statements I have read many years ago and I think the right t place to put them is under this news which may open new prospects for us to benefit from anybody; (Wisdom is the target of the believer wherever he finds it he is worthwhile)
(Take the wisdom and don’t matter from which source it came out).
The most important question here is: are we going to benefit from this?
Why do we think… and why not?
We think to be close to ideal life which each one of us seeks and to reach the best of it “which of you is best in deed”. In your opinion, Can
we reach this quality except by mature thought?
Why don’t we all talk about thinking and its skills and ethics and to be demanded by everyone? Do you know why? Because our minds are the most precious thing we have. Don’t they deserve to be invested a profitable investment? It is critical question I hope we all think about it. Ali – may God be pleased with him- said: (the most precious wealth is mind).
To be or not to be
We ourselves can choose between two options; whether to be positive, civilized and achiever and take the road leading to it which is the exercise of thinking. You alone carry out this mission. Dr. Souliman Alouda said “Thinking is worship doesn’t need a representation”.
I think the second option is known which is to be a person with no aims or visions. If we wanted this, we shall not have to work, do or say anything.
One of the teachers told the school manager that she cannot imagine herself blind as she thinks it is the hardest thing ever. The school manager told her: do you know what is worse than this? It is to be sighted with no vision.
Pitfalls and lapses
If we have believed in activating the talent of thinking primarily for the benefit of our minds, then we must be very careful of some of the pitfalls of thinking and its failings, which obstruct the march of our thinking that we will discuss some of them.
Concepts destroy thinking
Some modern experimental studies in psychology is based on the concept that our emotional status affects our thinking ,tends to prejudice and commits mistakes in our decisions .One proverb is here relevant; “Biased doesn’t differentiate” and reality is a witness to this.
I quote here some words said by Joseph Jastrow who asserts this meaning;
Correct thinking is a difficult art for two definite reasons:
First: many minds are incapable of accomplishing this mission.
Secondly: the intervention of emotions and passion.
Robert H. Thouless expresses this idea by saying “To some objects pleasurable emotions are attached, and we desire these objects and tend to believe any proposition whose truth would secure them. To other objects, unpleasurable emotions are attached, and we turn from these objects and tend to believe any proposition which denies their reality.”
Therefore, we have to deal with all by the principle of “intellectual capacity” and we have to realize that we cannot find the whole truth each time. Mistakes of human minds could happen and if we bear in minds this conviction, this would lead us to a result deserves celebration which is (the rejection of exclusionary) and to deal with opposite opinion with awareness, maturity and sublimity.
And this what Dr.Abdulkreem Bakar assured when he said; “ God Almighty created people see things from one personal perspective, and in order to see things in an objective manner we have to train ourselves to see them from multiple angles, and bear in mind the views of all parties”.
Haste is the first enemy of thinking
Someone comes up with an idea and another one opposes his idea. Do the latter have enough information or facts about this idea that enables him to object the first one with confidence? The answer is (NO). It is haste for sure according to the apparent divine reality (man is prone to be hasty).
Hence, I stress on things which represent, in my opinion, imbalance in the pattern of thinking.
Haste in interrupting the speaker before he completes his idea, although the simplest phrases that you do not hear may carry important details, and this was confirmed by Mohammed Alangemish in his book “listen to Make People Love You” in which he introduced an attempt to convert the forgotten virtue of listening to an effective tool in the dealings of everyday life.
Haste in judging new ideas; we are very hasty in judging things around us before auditing and searching for truth.
I was holding two books one for a western and the other is for a Muslim and I entered on a group of friends. Then some of them asked me what are you carrying in your hands? I raised the books pointing at their covers. So they looked at them and judged it directly and it was unfair judgment. The surprise was that the judgment was directed to the book of the Muslim. I was really surprised and it was a dramatic scene; I told them without hesitation: how strange you are! You didn’t criticize the western book though its author isn’t Muslim and on the other hand you did criticize the book of the Arab Muslim.
As a happy ending to the chapters of this story I finished reading the book of the Arab Muslim and I found it distinguished and full of culture, thought and knowledge. This was my judgment which I made and told them so.
Haste in interacting with any idea without regard if it is right or wrong. This is what we say in our dialect “flying the omelets”. Let us be transparent with ourselves; how many ideas we interacted with and the consequences were lamentable and the effects were withdrawal. It is surprisingly wondrous that we move forward to achieve fuzzy ideas enthusiastically and with determination while we step forward once and backward again in achieving clear ideas. I think many of us claimed the title of (hasty man) worthily, and in my opinion, this is the origin of disease and backwardness.
Hast in interacting with everyday life.. I will show here some images and aspects in order to get closer to reality.
- Haste in making relationships.
- Haste in solving our problems.
- Haste in giving promises.
- Haste in mistrust and slowness in overcoming it.
- Haste in the non survival of the feelings of happiness with those close to us.
- Haste in criticizing on non-objective basis.
- Haste in making relationships.
If I asked us all why are we hasty?
I think I cannot find a convincing answer. There were concepts and beliefs surrounded our thought which we embrace believing that we understood life.. Now we have to say that the matter is not like that and we have to differentiate between two existent mentalities on real life which are (hasty mentality) and (careful mentality). In my opinion I think we all agree that we desperately need, under such severe life conflicts, to be closer to the second mentality as it is the only alley of success and the key to every achievement.
Prophet Mohammed-peace be upon him- said: (Carefulness is from God and haste is from Devil).
Society and frank pause
I think our Arab communities don’t encourage the culture of thinking and the efforts are not enough to spread this culture. This is apparent through some evidences.
The cultural scene; the most prominent phenomenon is that we don’t read.
The social environment; the reduction of energy and talents.
Do/Don’t …is the slow death of the talent of thinking.
The cultural facilities; did they play their role?
Our societies and their adoration of making “No” although most of them do not contradict with Islamic standards.
Hence, as an inevitable result of the emergence of such phenomena, we have the right to wonder: do we live in cultural alienation today?
Before the end
What did we do? What are we going to do?
And the most important question is what are we working on now?
I think like all do that the development of thinking is an accumulative process involving several factors; the experiences and experiments which our mind underwent play a role. Also culture and reading play another role. And I remember what Stephen R Covey said, “nothing elevates culture and thought like reading”. All that is related to two important things; firstly the desire to change, and Secondly asking God for help to provide us with the correct thought and to help us in this mission (but the achievement of my aim depends on God alone).
Two important recommendations
I put in your hands two important recommendations of intellectual elite to be incentive for us to exercise thinking and to re-discover it again.
((Man can do sports to improve his fitness; he can also improve his thinking by ways on top of which: dialogue, reading, and avoiding the pitfalls of thinking))
Dr. Ahmed Albraa’ Alamiry
(Mind does not develop except by three things: continuity of thinking, reading the books of thinkers and attentiveness to life experiences).
I read the autobiography of Malcolm X and what attracted me was that he kept an open mind to life experiences and things around him. He said, “I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth.”
At the end of the day
Our conversation will be useless and does not carry any value unless there is a procedural action of changing our ways of thinking and the methods of our culture. We are not talking here about a supernatural effort as it is to take a step forward and a serious determination to be better. And by experience, if you start, you’ll be surprised with a tremendous success on its way to you.
Christian D. Larson said “That a man can change himself….and master his own destiny is the conclusion of every mind that is wide awake to the power of right thought.”
“I’ve been continually stuck by the tendency of people to create problems by getting squarely in their own way. Since the human ego is the root cause of the problems we face on this planet, I figure the greatest contribution any one of us can make toward solving the world’s problems is to work within ourselves to rise above our own littleness and transform the way we see things”.
These words were said by Jim Ballard in his book,” Mind like Water”. Here I agree with him that we have to work within ourselves to rise above our own littleness and transform the way we see things, and certainly there are people who can achieve this; they are the prudent and wise men.
On the other hand, others aren’t ready to change themselves for the better. You find them go too far on their mistakes and their behaviors exceed the norm and find them a source of tension and anxiety, and when you look at them, you find them the source of noise and ruckus in addition to their belief that others are incapable of deterring them; however, they are certainly mistaken.
To those people in particular I wrote my article.
Simply (you are wrong)
Success in human relationships is desirable; it is something we all ask and seek. The basic regulation of the success of that relationship or not is telling the truth about the behavior of that man who committed mistake toward you. The old proverb says “truth is like bee carrying honey in its mouth and a needle in its tail).
I would like to refer here that many of us cease their rights to defend themselves and give up their rights to live in peace. They do so in order not to hurt the feelings of the mistaken person and to maintain the relationship till the last breathe.
In my opinion, this balance is not fair at all. We have to be as courage as those who commit mistakes toward us; we have to criticize and explain right from wrong in a spirit of transparency, love and respect and to say it simply “You’re wrong”.
Events and Situations
Perhaps some would agree with me on this behavior and others may disagree, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I show you here some events which indicate the importance of using this way in treating some wrong behaviors of humans.
“you are an ignorant man” uttered by Prophet Mohammed -peace be upon him- to Abu Zerr may God be pleased with him when he insulted Bilal- May God be pleased with him.
“Coercion in the time of ignorance is mooing in Islam”. Said by Alsedik to Omar -may God be pleased with them- when he suggested the option of calming with renegade Arab tribes.
These are some examples and the deaf understand by gestures.
Once upon a time I read an old saying which says: “The person, who can not terrify anyone, is the most man at risk”.
We as humans go to extremes and we are not deterred except by strictness. As much as you sting, you will be free.
We shouldn’t be scared to exercise such rescuer skill and we shouldn’t be excessive in exercising this grave skill. We call all to be moderate. (And thus have We willed you to be a community of the middle way).
Psychological studies indicated that silence and repression on mistakes lead to diseases and depression.
We cannot reach perfection in everything, so we have to put an end to the dream in which we live that being silent on mistakes will maintain the relationship with others.
The one who isn’t disciplined by gratitude, his righteousness would be in his punishment.
Silence on mistaken person confirms that his behaviors are correct as alleged, and in the old saying; “the weakness of the oppressed gives an excuse to the oppressor.”
Forgiveness and tolerance come after the recognition of mistakes.